Make or Break Movies

So my wonderfully intelligent friend LtripleR wrote a very interesting piece on blow jobs and movies and well, I’ll let you read it here.  But it got me thinking …

When entering into a relationship, what things must you absolutely have in common in order for the relationship to succeed?  I’m not talking about politics, or religion, or the desire for children or pets, or sexual positions.  I’m talking about movies and TV.

Now, I know that this is a subjective list, and your list might be different from mine.  To be fair, my list is rather extensive, and doesn’t include TV.*  These are 15 movies that, without a doubt, any girl that I want to be with HAS to enjoy watching.  If they haven’t seen the movie**, they have to watch it with me and they MUST enjoy it.

* I will be posting a list of TV shows that are non-negotiable at another time.

** I make exceptions for girls that haven’t seen movies that came out when they were too young to watch them and might not have seen them.  Hey, I don’t really date women too much older than me; most of the girls I want to date were born in the mid-late 80s.  So it’s understandable if they haven’t watched some of these.

So without further ado, here is the list:

1) Dumb and Dumber (1995) – My all-time favorite comedy.  I have watched this film at least 100 times and it never gets old.  There are so many hidden gems, and so many quotable lines.  My brothers and I can recite this entire movie and we’ll laugh the whole time.  If a chick doesn’t like this movie, it says something severe about her sense of humor.

2) The Godfather (1972) – My all-time favorite drama.  It is an epic masterpiece and the standard by which many movies are measured.  I love this film.  Now, due to it’s lengthy running time, it is not essential that a girl want to repeat watching this over like I will, but she must appreciate it and never say anything bad about it.

3) Star Wars (1977) and The Empire Strikes (1981) – She won’t have to like the prequels (or Return of the Jedi – damn Ewoks), but she needs to love these two incredible sagas.*  Between the destruction of the Death Star, to Luke meeting Yoda, to Han Solo and Leia, it has romance, action, drama, fantasy, and everything in between.

* FYI, even though I don’t LOVE the prequels, I do LIKE them.  And one reason I want a son is to sit down with him and watch all 6 in the original order (4-5-6-1-2-3) just to see his reactions.

4) Jaws (1975) – Who the fuck doesn’t LOVE this film?  It caused people to not go to the beach.  How cool is that?!  “You’re gonna need a bigger boat.”  ‘Nuff said.

5) Back to the Future (1985) – The movie that inspired my friend’s post above, it’s a movie I will sit down and watch on TV even though I own it (that goes for most of the films on this list; I own over 400 DVDs, yet stay glued to a TV set all day).

6) Jurassic Park (1993) – Yes, the book has more detail than the movie.  So what?  This movie was ginormous from start to finish and I loved every second of it.  The sequels are OK, but the original is something no one should dislike.

7) Field of Dreams (1989) – This movie can still bring tears to my eyes.  While I understand that it might not evoke the same levels of emotions in women as it should in men, they still need to love this film.  Even if it’s just to watch me cry.

8.* Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982) – Before Sean Penn became a communist asshole, he was hysterical as a stoned-out surfer.  Before Jennifer Jason Leigh became a psycho roommate, she was losing her virginity in a dugout.  Before Judge Reinhold did whatever the hell he was doing in the ’90s, he was jerking off to Phoebe Cates showing her boobs at a pool.  The greatest coming of age comedy of the 80s, it’s a must-see.

*I had to put a period instead of a parenthesis because the site kept making a smiley face with sunglasses.

9) The Breakfast Club (1986) – Excellent film.  Every high school kid should watch it.  Which means if someone still hasn’t seen it, they need their head examined.

10) The Shawshank Redemption (1994) – One of the few movies with a twist ending that I will re-watch.  It is so brilliantly acted that I don’t think there is a single person who’s watched this film and not liked it.  And if there is, I don’t ever want to meet that person because he/she has no soul.

11) The Exorcist (1973) – The only movie that continually gives me chills because I am very religious.  It is my all-time favorite horror movie and any significant other of mine has to have at least watched it once.

12) Private Parts (1997) – I am a Howard Stern Superfan.  If they don’t at least like this movie, they’re gone.

13) The Wizard of Oz (1939) – I love everything about this movie.  The girl I would love to be dating right now has a little girl who will only watch the parts of the movie in color.  I find that to be adorable, although if I hopefully get to stick around for a while, I will at some point have to have her watch the whole movie, even if she doesn’t want to.  If only for “It’s a twister, a twister”, “… and you were there, and you were there, and you were there”, and Judy Garland’s magnificent rendition of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow,” which makes me think of my grandfather.

14) The Karate Kid (1984) – One of the greatest underdog movies ever, I’m still not sure how the hell Daniel LaRusso beat Johnny from Cobra-Kai.  But he did.  And I used to listen to “You’re the Best” before taking any major exam while in med school.

15) Rocky (1976) – C’mon.  Everyone has to love this movie, if for no other reason than it proves that at one point in time, Sly Stallone could act.

I could go on and on with more and more movies, but I’ll leave the list at 15 for now.  I will probably do another list in the future with more movies, especially once I get my DVD collection unpacked and organized.

These are movies that are pretty much non-negotiable.  Any girl with even a remote interest in dating me needs to know these movies, love these movies, and maybe even quote them.  Or, if she doesn’t like them, she better be friggin’ dynamite in bed.

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3 Responses to Make or Break Movies

  1. Ltripler says:

    Love Love Love this list and I couldn’t agree more. You have named many of my favorites but alas, we cannot be together b/c I have never seen Dumb and Dumber all the way through. GREAT Post and thank you for the shout out!

  2. Thanks on your marvelous posting! I definitely enjoyed reading it, you can be a great author.
    I will be sure to bookmark your blog and definitely will come back from now on.
    I want to encourage you continue your great posts,
    have a nice day!

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